Improve your relations with your parentsLittle by little, all the extra care they show towards us gets to annoy us tremendously. At the beginning, we try to keep it to ourselves, so that we don’t bother anybody, then, we try to avoid visits and telephone calls, just to make sure we won’t start a scandal. Nevertheless, the more we try to stay away from any uncomfortable talks, the pushier our parents get. The question is how to find an equilibrium? How to escape the daily phone calls, which provide you with unnecessary advice, without making your parents feel bad, rejected or misunderstood. Here are a few strategies that you can try. If you know your Mother is going to call you at 8 am sharp, in order to tell you what the weather is like outside and what you should wear that day, ring her up five minutes earlier than she would normally call. Act natural, like you didn’t plan in detail the call. Ask her how she slept, how the dog is and inform her what the weather is. Tell her you just watched the weather forecast ten minutes ago and she should definitely wear warm clothes, in case she goes shopping. First, she’ll have the impression she forgot to call at the regular hour and inform you about the weather, but then she will start thinking that you followed her advice and you checked the forecast before leaving for work. We always have to remember that, although we grew up, our parents keep on seeing in us the child they have advised and helped for years. That is why, they constantly try to be present in our lives and protect us, in the way they consider best. But, in spite of all the good intentions, an over caring parent can be a problem to anybody. So what do we do when the only hobby our parents have, is to go on taking care of the poor 30+ year old child? If no method, like proving we are capable of handling things by our own, works, than you definitely have to start finding another hobby for your parents. It might take a while, but you can’t give up! Keep your mind open and think about options like: getting them another pet; subscribe them to a dancing club which organizes daily meetings – this way they’ll be busy, healthy and also tired and they might give you a break; call their friends and invite them to pay them visits more often etc. You’ll see that helping them have a new purpose is much easier than you expect. Do accept those phone calls as their purpose is to help you and they will be gone all too soon. |
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